Sunday, April 27, 2008
4:03 PM
Never looking back at what we’ve done,
Tired! Just came back from Beach Training! Did a variety of things today (ahem), shall not disclose (: The sun was good today! Got abit darker! Yaye Anges is happy :D
School work's piling up once again! I guess I'll have to suffer the dire consequences of procrastinating and slacking the weekend away. Heh nvm la I should be used to my past 16 years of last-minute-ness already no? (:
Friendster really dislikes me huh? Was unable to upload alot of photos. Nehmind I shall try another day. Haha k this is random.
He Jiajun is coming back tonight! :D Lol not used to not seeing him in trainings man!
Oh ya forgot to mention time trial yesterday! Hmm.. I improved lah plus I was wearing two swimsuits.. But not fast enough leh I think I should really take trainings seriously from now on. Okay correction, not that I didn't take trainings seriously in the past.. Just that I'll easily give up and skip sets when I'm tired. Should start to train myself mentally and physically man (:
I realised I use alot of '(: & :D's today. I'm in a good mood hahaha.
Alright lucky 7!
#1 I took my favourite bus today
#2 I got darker
#3 I'm addicted to Skyway Avenue
#4 I ate Subway Cold Cut Trio today
#5 I am tired thinking of someone (:
#6 Jiajun's coming back!
#7 SHE and FRH's new song is super cute! :D
Cause I would die for you, on Skyway Avenue
All I'm saying is do you,
Do you want to lose it all?
Cause this is more than just a dance hall drug
Whoa I haven't blogged in.. around two weeks? Didn't have any chance to blog ohwell. Disclaimer: LONG long post ahead
Yeah recent updates, LIC is coming to an end! YAY like finally! What's left are the two proficiency tests. Pass or fail, I don't really care anymore. I'm damn tired of this and some assessor actually told me I should go teach literature instead after I presented my topic -.- Rah nevermind.
School life is mundane. Everyday is the same old thing, tutorials, projects, tests, tutorials, projects and more tests. Its like some vicious cycle but the irony is I that I don't feel settled down yet.
So far I've topped Physics in my class, FROM THE BOTTOM. Not something to be proud of, well I sure gotta do well for the next lecture test or else my CT will use all his power to retain me in J1. I'm serious, he told that to the whole class. He's just so @$&$%*@#! And he loves to spam our emails with.. say at least 3 emails a day? And he's like rushing to reincarnate everytime he teaches. First time a teacher can ask me a question and I just refuse to answer and simply stare at him. Super attitude right? But I was in a bad mood so he's just suay or super suay.
Oh and Mr Chu had his last lesson with our class yesterday ): super sad lah he's like the best teacher that has ever taught our class, like super neat and organised. Yea then now our class will be full of relief teachers :/
Studies aside, I went back to SN on Tuesday! Finally got to eat my Orange Bowl :D And I toured the Staff Room in hope of finding my beloved teachers but NONE of them were there ): But when I walked past the library I went to see if Mrs Lumbda Khong was inside and Tadaaa she was :D but she was busy so she said she'll call me when she's done to look for me!
And I went to visit Huahui's Jubilate section for around 15 mins. I think everyone didn't expect to see me cos I didn't inform anyone I was going back. Then talked abit with some juniors, too bad didn't get to see the others cos they were at different venues. Foo Chuanping the Pangseh Princess treated me to the Rainbow Bun! :D Actually cannot say I miss her la, cos I see her during trainings, plus later she becomes too arrogant lol.
Okay so met up with a few of my 7 valentines in the canteen, actually that was the main purpose we went back to SN, to meet, before going for dinner lol. Mrs Khong came to find me and talked to me for 5 mins? Short but then at least we got to talk! She's got this thing in her that makes you feel like crying whenever she talks to you about personal lives. Miss her truck loads man! And the other 4Faith teachers as well :/
Yeah so Brother, Yiling, Siowyu and I went to the Jie Mei Tong Xin Qiao to camwhore, and when Laopa and Ceci came we took photos in the canteen as well. All self-timers :D Then we headed to AMK Hub to have SUSHI! Weien came slightly later though. We talked and laughed alot, just like the old times! I miss having them around man! At least no matter what we'll have to meet up once in a month, at the very least. Just that Sista couldn't make it cos of her rehearsal :/
Met up with Yang yesterday also! She abandoned her friend to meet me! :D Yeah then we decided to do work at Macs but obviously didn't even touch our notes at all. Updated each other about our lives and complained about tutors/lecturers and stuff, including BITCHING about someone. (Yeah she's out of my life so I don't really care if she sees this anyway. And its quite obvious cos I only bitch about one person.) Oh and Yang actually went back to SN on Tuesday also luh! But she left earlier so didn't catch her. Only managed to catch Sarah, Vinnie and Janice who I alrdy knew was going back. Time passes really fast when you're with SN PEOPLE :D
Ah Teck the moose is gonna write me a letter!! :D She told me last night she contemplated sending by snail mail. So cute right! Very long never nonsense with her already :/ and whenever I want to talk to her online she's alws not at the com, but yesterday she was! And both of us are the Ultimate laggers of CEFC. We were so busy we didn't even realise the new song by SHE and FRH that just came out!
Alright I think I've blogged enough. I've got loads of work to complete and later WS is still having time trial. RAH so busyyyyy!
Just so you know,
Standing on the rooftops everybody scream your heart out
Three entirely different situations, one entirely drained soul.
For once throughout this whole period of time, I felt that I haven't faced myself in a long long time. Running away from reality did help, but it doesn't last. And it won't be the one seeing me through. I'm running in circles again, running with no aim or whatsoever in mind. But there's no time to wallow in self-pity, no time to live in despair. Maybe its time to move on, and pick myself up where I fell so hard. Yeah. Time to, move on.
I'm not strong and I know it. It would be damn hard to change. The lack of confidence, low self-esteem if you would like to call it, many things made it this way. Nothing just happens like this, and nothing is changed overnight. Nobody likes to be outside their own comfort zone, and would definitely hate it when being forced to do so. This isn't about winning. I know that. The worst thing is when you can't even overcome yourself. And no one else can help you do it.
Sometimes this world is just so damn bloody realistic. Is it really that difficult to stop in your tracks to listen to what someone has to say? Sometimes people are too busy or preoccupied they don't give a damn about you. And its this part and parcel of life we have to go through that make people turn, cold. Nothing else matters anymore. Nothing else.
Stop and stare
I was born too late,
To a world that doesn't care
Oh I wish I was a punk rocker
with flowers in my hair
D-Y-I-N-G of exhaustion.
Have been doing things I've never done before no matter how tired I am. Everyday I'm in this subconscious state or also known as screensaver mode. RAH someone help meeee ):
Bye world.
Apple bottom jeans,
Boots with the fur
I almost changed my blog song to Low. But I think alot of people from F1 would have started bashing me up cos the song reminds us of, something. And so I changed my mind lol.
Sigh GP test, Chem test, Maths test all crammed up in one week. This sucks! Really gotta go study already. And I've not made a decision as to what to do for PI. Yeah gotta study and catch up with alot of work also, so I decided to be a loner today and go study alone! Hope I'll be productive!
Went to VJ yesterday to sort of rahrah the crowd. Before that we ourselves rahrah-ed outside the LT, and although we were doing silent cheers, I could feel that everyone was super high luh! When we went in the atmostphere was LOW LOW low low low low low low. Apple was damn good! Taught a teeny weeny bit of Oh My Darling and the five star new moon cheer! The cheer's so damn cute cos its so spastic. Bus rides there and back were uber fun cos everyone in the bus started singing songs and Apple was in front leading, and he said that Xuyao, Jiaxin and I were like chipmunks cos we made alot of noise.
After that Fam 1 facs camwhored outside LN and in the canteen! (Xuyao I want photos!) And then a few of us went to West Mall to eat + play pool. I love F1 facs! And hopefully we'll have our chalet in June :D
I've got a painting shoes crave again! This sucks luh, at the rate I'm spending money I don't need to go Batam already :/
Sometimes I don't know what you're thinking. And I don't care.
Lifesaving Instructor Course commencing tmrw. Hope it'll be good or else it'll just be a total waste of my money RAH.
Shawty got low low low low low low low low ;D