Thursday, October 30, 2008
11:10 PM
Even though it seems
Like it's too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way
Dragged myself out of bed today to go to school cos I promised Jiaxin I'll teach her swaveboarding. She's good! Can turn already :D
Leaders-in-conversation was quite time-consuming, so the councillors planned a series of games, mass dance and everything. Alot of people sneaked to the PE porch to slack, and my dear friends went to use the swaveboard. In the end cos I was running late I just left the swaveboard with them and left for TPY.
Yeah waited for an hour for the "interview" to commence. Did CPR cum EAR on Rescui Anne (Yes that's HER name) and apparently I couldn't seal the mouth with my mouth so lao hong, then the CM said that Enid and I got "ying tao xiao zui" like zomg. (MY MOUTH IS NOT BIG SHENN!)
Shenn and I have ALOT of crazy ideas for outings, and we get damn excited the more we talk about it. I think one week at least once? Gonna be SO broke!
Well I'm glad I have them around me like seriously. Esp Jiaxin, Shenn, Jacky, DP. You guys are the ultimate! Always thought I would never find such wonderful friends once I leave St Nicks but you guys proved me so wrong! Love spending time with you guys!
WS friends! We've been busy busy busy and in our own worlds. Let's go play NFS soon k!
Happy birthday to Wei'en in advance! Hope there will be full attendance tmrw! :D
Here I go, scream my lungs out
And try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that
Gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Swaveboard MADNESS!
These 3 days we've all been working 12 to 10 at different places with different people. I kept running all over the place like Vivo to Suntec, Vivo to ECP..
Tried out many new stunts, like hopping onto the board to start, shifting either feet to either side of the deck, and trying to make two people move on one board etc, accompanied with many injuries LOL. Okay I conclude that I'm accident prone, so much so that Laopa is immune to me shouting at the back of the cart, she just takes it that I knocked into something again.
Oh yes I stayed over at Laopa's hse again ytd before going down to ECP tgt. And she successfully psycho-ed someone who isn't exactly pro-Jay Chou like me into liking Jay's new album. She sucks la! Forever make me spend money! :P
Jiaxin, Jacky, Shenn, Yuyong, DP came down today, too bad they only managed to play for awhile. Then it started raining. Nvm, next time! :D Jiaxin hurry join us!
I can't wait for school to end! Sucks la why must have this additional week when other schools ended long ago :/ Who in the right mind still has the mood to attend normal lessons?!
& so I became an epitome of sadness
哭了 累了 好了 够了
我明白了, 是不能够再执著
要快乐, 懂吗?
Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
And I watch them fall everytime
Another colour turns to grey
And it's just too hard to watch it all
Slowly fade away
Slacked the whole sports carnival, S21 didn't even participate in anything lol. PS-ed my dearest classmates going to Arena to play pool for Sakae with Jacky, Jiaxin, Shenn, Nicholas and Yixuan. I was so full I felt like vomitting everything out lol. But waste money!
Well we camwhored, played at the adventure course thing, slacked at the library and started to walk from JP to Bukit Batok. 5 mrt stops leh, quite an accomplishment k! Took us 2 hours and then I reached home at 11 plus. On the bus I was so tired I kept falling asleep and I hit my head on the metal bar, damn malu. And I actually missed my stop cos I dozed off at that point of time zzz. Imagine at first Shenn and I wanted to walk to her hse!
Yeah didn't manage to go Shenn's Box to sing k! Nvm, next time! And I'm quite glad that Jiaxin initiated to plan an outing! Monday come ECP! :D
Alright I'm damn tired I shall go sleep. Still haven't watched ep 13 of LQH :/ Nvm I didn't miss too much of Wuzun cos I just saw him on the big screen on Monday! People go support Wu Xia Liang Zhu, even though it isn't all that entertaining and rather predictable.
你明明还在乎
Why must I move on.
But you were everything to me
I was begging you please don't go
And I said,
Was late for training today cos I overslept at home and kena pumped 600 times. Halfway couldn't tahan switched to female style pushups. My arms were shaking like shit luh, plus knees got abrasion :/ So long never do then suddenly do so much! I think tmrw don't need to write liao lol.
Field cooking with Banni hse comm ytd was fun! Well we didn't really dig a hole in the ground to cook but we did use all the solid fuels and whatnot to cook. Macoroni plus tomato sauce was srsly not bad. Plus the chocolate fondue after that. Damn nice. Lots of leftover chocolate, so we're gonna have fondue for Tuesday's breakfast.
Found my team of 4 already :D Jialong wants to really set up swimming. I think he's crazy. He's got badminton, rugby, track and field and lifesaving. Imagine next year, all the competition season at different times he can skip school for the whole year man!
& I'm tired too.
You don't know and don't care how much you're hurting me do you.
I've got a brand new attitude,
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I wanna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
Did alot of reflection tonight, during, and after the team dinner. Issues that were raised up countless of times included things like, the bulk of us growing up, changing or reshuffling our priorities cos we've got alot more things on hand.. etc etc.
In fact I was kinda worried during the dinner, that some bad news would be announced and somehow it would involve me. I can't imagine a life without WS. It's to the extent whereby, even thinking of it makes me shudder. It scares me abit to think that it has become such a major part of me. Something I can't and don't want to live without.
Now it's really time to think, what do I want ultimately. I know I'm quite aimless, but I want to do it, I want to carry on. Honestly I've had enough of hearing things like "You know you can do it, it's just whether you want to." or "Your only competitor is yourself.", even though it's easy to point that out to someone else. Kept telling myself that I need to find back that motivation. What I didn't realise was that I needed to find an aim/goal/target whatsoever that comes before that motivation.
It applies to studies too. So what if I'm promoted successfully? What's the whole point in failing most of the promo papers or getting some 47.5 and getting pushed up to a pass after moderation? Finally drummed something into my head, discipline is the key to everything.
What am I actually doing this for? For my parents? For the sake of survival in the future? For obligation? Or for myself? What do I actually want?
[Edit] It's 3.20 in the morning and I still can't sleep. Is that the reason why? [/Edit]
How can I move on
When I'm still in love with you
Cos if one day you wake up
And find that you're missing me
It's been a long time since I've stayed up so late. During weekdays I come home and get my sleep, but at midnight I'm damn tired again, and I'll sleep past the time I've gotta wake up to take public transport to school so the very kind Dad will offer to send. But today's just damn weird. I've been through work and some @#$%!^*% training but I'm still very much alive, and kicking.
Met Sky for the first time today. He's an S.H.E fan also la omg. Shawn and Ryan came back to play again (: And the two Pink (with a capital P) girls came asking for training, when they already knew how to play lol. The younger one basically had some mental barrier, she wanted to hold onto me, but in fact she didn't even put any weight on me. Yes and they were the ones who Laopa coached! The ones who spoke Chinese. I almost died for that 1 hour.
Training was strokework. At the end of that Mr Kwa picked a few people for a challenge. It's quite hard for them to decide actually. Team dinner tmrw at Sakura. Many many sensitive issues would be brought up I guess. Need to be mentally prepared.
Working at Toys 'R' Us at The Forum tmrw! Yeah with the friendly staff (: Hope it wouldn't be boring!
& the point is, I need to know.
Why does it have to be like this?
Can't keep my hands, my hands, my hands out the cookie jar
Ytd after school while I was waiting to take the Leaders' Camp consent form, Laopa suddenly say she was at Queensway and asked me to go down to pei her cos she was alone. Reached around 6, and we walked until 8 plus.
She bought a jacket with lots of stars, almost bought another design myself. Going back to see the new stock in 2 weeks time. Yeah and she bought this Converse new arrival striped polo tee, not bad, suits her alot, plus this pair of China-inspired Converse sneakers. Kept teasing her about being cheena. Well no la she just liked the colour. She's mad luh, almost bought a watch and a pair of shorts also, sheepishly asking her dad to sponsor her 60 bucks. And I, was successfully NOT psycho-ed by her and didn't spend a cent.
Was damn disappointed today but nah shall not talk about it. My moods these days are swinging like nobody's business and I'm becoming such an irritating bitch. Sorry to Fengru and Jinghui.
& I swear I'll never ever shed a tear for results again. It's something so superficial, no one actually sees how much effort you put in but instead base everything on results and results alone. Not worth crying over something like that. What positive attitude. Eat shit. Life is never fair.
Listening to Wo Ai Fan Nao makes one feel better. The lyrics (esp the chorus) absolutely rock.
Viwawa-ing at 10 with S21 people later. So childish but errr class bonding luh lol. I think I'm the only girl -.-
You're the missing piece I need
The song inside of me
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
Went down to ToysRUs at Vivo, Forum and Paragon today after school. First stop was to Vivo, unknowingly I fell asleep around Dover and woke up to see an ever-so-familiar building which is the Singapore Post Office to realise that I was quite dead. Yeah basically I overshot by <-------------this--------------> much and ended up in Paya Lebar.
The staff there quite unfriendly, preferred the staff at Forum, they quite funny. Paragon's practically empty, so actually I'd rather work at Forum if in any case I need to be at Orchard or something, like maybe this Sunday before team dinner at Sakura. To think when beach training resumes I was thinking of going Vivo to work ._.
Brought the blue warning board to school today and Yangzhi and Yuyong managed to learn it! My two jiemei also damn fast learners la! Jin paiseh k everyone staring when I was on public transport. Doc Gan almost confiscated it from Shawn in the morning.
Talk about OP today. Was better than expected! Impromptu-ed alot of things and Q&A was surprisingly good for me yaye :D Missed Econs again :/ And some (fill in the blank) civics session.. No comments.
请原谅我的任性与执着
我无法控制自己不去爱你
下雨天
I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
Back from Leaders' camp, work and training! I'm damn tired but I'm so glad I didn't excuse myself from any of these.
Leaders' camp wasn't all that typical rahrah-ing and mass dance (thankfully). It was kind of a feedback session mixed with an element of fun. Made new friends cos they split us into groups.
Only the last part was horrible. The teachers gave us 5 mins to put all our bags on the stage, arrange tables and chairs into 15 x 25. No kick, really. We did it easily. But they weren't satisfied cos nobody took initiative to borrow the mic to give instructions blah blah and the councillors were specifically told to leave that to us.
So we were ordered to put all our bags back onto the floor and push back all the tables and chairs into their original positions and start over. I mean, okay lah nobody took the initiative at first but with the presence of councillors who wanna be so gk or thick skinned to go get the mic to give instructions right? They are, afterall, of another higher level.
Rushed down to ECP. Trained two groups today! First was these two young boys called Shawn and Ryan. Shawn's 12 and Ryan's 7, super x346912461691 cute I swear! Someone says I'm a pedophile and calls me gay just because I said there was this chio bu at Macs. Yeah and apparently SOME PEOPLE found my blog hahaha.
He kept telling me: "People keep banging into me.."
And I told him: "Yeah cos you're too small nobody can see you!"
Group pic!
Yep next was this girl and her friend (I forgot names :X). Laopa didn't wanna coach so ask me to go. And luckily she did, cos shortly after that there was this Chinese-speaking family that requested for training too, and my conversational Chinese, sadly, is deteriorating at an exponential rate. No wonder Fengru didn't have an impression of me doing Chinese drama :/
Training was productive. With only 7 people. Poor Pradeep, I heard he was the only ONE last week lol. Did pt and strokework, and after not training or not even touching pool water for 1 whole month, I AM ACHING EVERYWHERE! Oh and I finally got to see my Darling Princess Ariel Kwa lol! She remembers the Superman song!
为何要两人这样痛苦地互相折磨
你，是一种痊愈不了的伤口
It seems the whole world is taking me over
I need somebody to help me get back to it
"Work" today was kinda different. Hossan Leong was down to film with David our "star player" cum "Mr Finger-Lickin'-Good" LOL. He's a damn fast learner, Alvin taught him for only 5 minutes and he was up and on the board. Just that he didn't know how to stop haha! Freaking jealous they gave him a brand new board! And the purple warning one at that.
Just sent my resume over to The Animal Doctors for an admin role. Hope I'll get it, it's SO near my house lah goodness. If not I'll just go to that tuition centre see if they want tutors for pri schl or lower sec kids. Yeaaa I know my limits luh :P
Right, I should start packing my bag for Leaders' camp tmrw. Hope they don't tekan us during the camp as they promised :/
And I’ve always been a million miles away
But things are gonna change
I just wanna come home
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground
This love is killin' me
Back from work! And from Shenn's house before that. Ended up singing k again lah lol! Then watch one movie and cannot tahan go sleep on her water bed :D Left her hse at 10 and went straight to ECP, instead of going home.
SO MANY changes were made to the displays and everything. Plus our new stocks. The junior boards are damnnn cool okay. But I'm gonna get the normal one with the new bearings soon! Darren asked me to come up with a design :D Went out many times today and met many many cute kids! There was this girl with her two brothers, who called me to wait for them at the junction while they go ask their parents to allow them to rent boards.
First time I experienced so many sales today also. But super suay, when I was alone I got hit head-on by a bike, the wheel totally ran into my leg. And plus I got hit on the head by the board hanging from the top. Not as many times as Laopa though :P
They're being filmed tomorrow, gonna go down to take a look :D Oh ya anyone searching for a job? Streetwave's hiring (:
Sian tmrw got school. Was contemplating whether to tell my Mom that it's a marking day and pon school to meet Wei'en and Laopa for basketball but I decided to be a guai kia and go to school. ZZZ sian ka liao. Leaders' camp on Friday. Yes another camp. The poor boys have Boys' camp tmrw lol.
Got back a few results. Got good and bad. Good is an A, bad is a fail. Super extreme, but I worked hard for my A okayyy. Haven't had this feeling in a long long while. The fail was quite expected but I did study too.
Recently keep quarreling with The Mom. Over stupid stuff. And she wonders why I don't stay at home.
So, where do I go, from here?